How to Fall Asleep When You’re Anxious

It’s 2:17 a.m. and your mind is running a highlight reel of worst-case scenarios. You flip your pillow to the cooler side, your heart fluttering like a moth in a jar. You’re exhausted, but your brain is wide awake, thoughts racing with a sense of urgency that won’t let you rest.

If you know this feeling, welcome — you’re not alone. I’ve been there too. Anxiety at night is a quiet kind of torment. The world is still, but inside your head, it’s deafening.

What many don’t realize is this: anxiety at bedtime isn’t random. It’s your mind saying, “You’ve been ignoring something important.”

So how do you fall asleep when anxiety has you in its grip? Instead of fighting it, what if you leaned in and asked: “What truth am I avoiding?”

Often, it’s something simple but profound — an unspoken boundary, an unmourned loss, a buried desire. Tonight, make yourself a promise: Tomorrow, I’ll honor one truth my heart is asking me to face.

A Ritual for Rest

Here’s a gentle ritual to help you stop resisting sleep and soften into it.

Phase 1: The Wind-Down Hour

Sleep doesn’t begin when your head hits the pillow — it begins with the way you let go of your day. About an hour before bed, start shifting from doing to simply being.

Take out a notebook or scrap of paper and complete this sentence:

“What’s really keeping me awake is…”

Write freely — the anger, the guilt, even the absurd worries about emails or dental appointments.

Then destroy what you wrote. Shred it, crumple it into the trash. As the paper crumples up in your hand, whisper:

“These thoughts lose power here.”

Next, help your body transition. Walk barefoot on cool tile for a couple of minutes to mimic the chill of winter and trigger your brain’s hibernation mode. Or take a hot shower about 90 minutes before bed — as your core temperature drops afterward, your body will start to feel naturally sleepy.

Phase 2: Lying Down and Letting Go

Once in bed, the real challenge begins: facing yourself in the dark.

This part isn’t about “winning” at sleep — it’s about surrender. Let your face soften like wet sand. Imagine dropping two heavy backpacks off your shoulders. Breathe all the way out and trust your lungs to refill themselves.

Try spelling out the word D-O-N-E, one letter per deep breath.

Or do a variation of the 4-7-8 breath:

• Inhale for 4

• Hold for 7

• Exhale for 8

  
  

  …but this time, picture blowing your anxious thoughts into a balloon, and watch it float away into the night.

If your mind keeps chattering, whisper to it:

“This quiet is where I create my calm.”

Phase 3: When Anxiety Overpowers

Some nights, anxiety doesn’t whisper — it kicks down the door. When that happens, try these quick resets:

• The five senses override: Focus on one thing you can feel (your sheets), taste (even water), smell (lavender or the night air), hear (the fan, distant traffic), and see (real or imagined — the moon, the stars). Rotate through these until your brain shifts from thinking to sensing.

• Make an appointment with your worries: Tell them you’ll meet them at 10 a.m. tomorrow. When they pop up at night, say: “Not now. See you at 10am.”

• If all else fails, get up. Write down one tiny action you’ll take tomorrow — even something as simple as “Text my doctor” or “Email my boss.” Then say aloud: “I’ve outsmarted you. Now leave me to sleep.”

Stop Chasing Sleep

Remember: sleep isn’t something you chase. It’s something you allow. You don’t have to force it — you just have to create the conditions for it to find you.

Sometimes that looks like counting sheep. Other times it means whispering to your nervous system:

“Even chaos needs rest.”

Tonight, try the breath. Try the mantra. Or simply lie there with curiosity instead of dread, asking yourself:

“What truth is waiting to be seen?”

And when you find it, meet it gently, like an old friend. Then let it go.

Because you are not broken. You are simply awake — learning the art of softening.